Hard Knocks - Episode 5

Scattershooting while wondering whatever happened to The Affirmative:

· The (mercifully) last episode begins with a comparison of this year’s Cowboy team and the previous Super Bowl-winning Cowboy teams. It ends with the Hard Knocks narrator proclaiming “31 other teams may dream of the Super Bowl. This season, the Cowboys expect it.” Hmmm. I wonder what those 31 laughably out-manned dreamers think about that announcement? Think they might be a little pissed off? The Cowboys have put an enormous target on their backs with this foolishness. They better be ready.

· OK, so last season ends with a game in which a very dubious decision was made – to suddenly bench Julius Jones and name Marion Barber the starter. Now this year’s preseason ends with a very dubious decision – not only to play Sam Hurd, but also to run him into the ground on four of the first six plays. Hurd suffers a high-ankle sprain on a freaking’ reverse of all things. A reverse in a meaningless preseason game? Questions still abound about this coaching staff. Or do they only abound about the head coach?

· Marion Barber is my kind of guy. First bit of coolness: He hardly appeared on Hard Knocks at all. Second bit of coolness: When he finally did appear, he simply played piano in his apartment and didn’t say a word. Hard Knocks? Barber don’t need no stinkin’ Hard Knocks.

· Jeez, Louis, I can’t feel my knees. I can understand Wade Phillips tearing up at the death of Gene Upshaw. Hell, maybe Upshaw was a close friend. But now he’s crying after he cuts a player? Who is this guy – Dick Vermeil? It makes the false bravado of his pre-game “Let’s go out there and kick some ass!” comment even more embarrassing.

· So we get resolution to all the “big” stories: Keon Lattimore and Todd Lowber are cut, and Danny Amendola makes the practice squad. Wow. What a climax. And now there’s a 99 percent chance we’ll never hear those names again.

· Football is a brutal business on and off the field. On cut day, players who haven’t made the team are met at the door and shuffled directly to the coach’s office. Do not pass Go, do not collect anything. You’re gone, sucker.

· Deion Sanders had some decent advise for Adam Jones on their little fishing expedition. Sanders told him to call the commissioner and thank him for the reinstatement into the league. Jones balked a little, but Sanders was adamant. I think Deion is still mostly about Deion, but he’s also interested in helping current players, especially those on the Cowboys. And that’s a good thing.

· Best moment: DeMarcus Ware singing “Head, shoulders, knees and toes” to his newly adopted daughter.

· Worst moment: I think Emmitt Smith visited the Cowboys locker room, but I can’t be sure. I saw the back of a guy’s head and some diamond earrings. It sure looked like it could have been Emmitt. Problem is, the NFL cameras never bothered to show his face. Details, details.